Once a week I "meet" with a coach friend on the phone. We share business tips, chat about our successes and our challenges, and practice our coaching skills by helping eachother. The last time we talked I found myself telling her about my week. It had been a challenging one...you know, one of those weeks that you really wish you could just forget. I had received some disappointing news and I knew I was feeling hurt by it. But I was feeling something else too, and I just couldn't put my finger on it. After carefully listening to me talk for a number of minutes, our conversation went something like this:
Friend: "Cathy, can you personalize what you just said?"
Cathy, rather mystified: "What do you mean by 'personalize' it?"
Friend: "Over the last few minutes I've heard you say a number of times, 'when my business succeeds'. How about when YOU succeed?"
Receiving the disappointing news that week had made me feel a bit blue, and, as a result, I began to doubt my abilities to succeed. We all go through this from time to time. For me, it was a momentary lapse. I have found through experience that if I wait awhile, my mood will change and my thoughts will become more positive. It did get me thinking more about success though and what it means to me - and how we verbalize it to others. Often by listening to what we say, or by having a friend truly listen, we can learn things about ourselves that we aren't aware of. Over the next few days try paying attention to what you say. Listen to what pronouns you use. Like me, you may learn something about yourself that may prove to be valuable.